Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
So you met him?
More like I walked in on him, drunk, naked, and doing "bathtub yoga". Please stop bringing your dates home.
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
I've taken a shot every five minutes for the past twenty. His valentines cupcakes are going to be a fucking delicious vodka induced mess. Thinking about putting vodka in this next batch. I'm the best girlfriend.
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
They are doing the auction. One of the items in the auction is a grenade launcher.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
