I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
He ate me out while I was playing bejeweled. It was the greatest moment of my life.
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
