there's paper in my vomit.
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
11:30 you texted me saying he was on his way. 11:37 you said, "Oh my God that was terrible."
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
