Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
Well. Turns up no one actually knows who that kid was. Came in, said happy fathers day, chilled for a while, then left.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
The fact he has had a girlfriend for 5 years and they are trying to work it out isn’t going to stop me from sleeping with him. He said it himself you can’t cheat on someone you love...
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
