do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
What color are my eyes?
Ummmm... 34 C?
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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