Her vagina smelled like hockey gear.
She just used a chaser for red wine.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
