I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
