Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
The only people who will bring me pizza or tacos want a commitment and I'm hungry for food not their love.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
It actually wasn't the first time that a guy I just met ate me out in the back seat of his car in a starbucks parking lot in the middle of the day.
Randomize
