Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
Apparently drunk me thought it was time for a career change. I woke up with a message from Mcdonalds saying that I was hired as the new cashier.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I mean, that's eating your cake and fucking it too.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
Looks like I'm not in the Ashly Madison files. But my wife is.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
and eventually we just all took our pants off
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
