Dual....:-)
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I'm going to do lines of vitamin c I cannot be sick for halloween
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
Still no second date. Guess you shouldn't show guys your taser on the first date.
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
And I had on a penis ring on the whole time at dinner. And I ate veal...
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
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