i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
If there was an emoticon for a sad penis, i would send it to you
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
Randomize
