I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I can't tell if the dead thing in the yard is a deer or the guy I slept with last night...
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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