If I were a boy, I'd name my penis Reptar.
What I lack in compassion I make up for in lack of compassion
I remember asking you "need some dick tonite?"
Yeah I guess to me frat party equals penis party. oh the wonders of vodka.
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
i ditched last period to have sex with him. i had to change into my skank clothes in the church parking lot. little kids were on the swings.
nothing about this is right.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
