just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
I know it's getting bad when I wash the bong more often then the dishes
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
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