remember when she hit me with her car by accident, well apparently it wasn't an accident.
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
These pissing matches have to stop. They led to last night's scotch through the nose shots. I'll never smell again.
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
IS SOBER OCTOBER A THING?? WTF WHO ARE THESE PEOPLE?
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
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