He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
