i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
If our text convos ever saw the light of day lives would be in tatters
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I'm intrigued by how his mouth tasted the same as his dick.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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