This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I only remembered where urgent care was because it's across the street from my favorite bar
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I don’t want to brag, but vows, morals and will power are no match for my blow job skills
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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