i woke up to her playing with my penis. just wiggling it around and around. awkward night? i would say so.
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
How many trips to the liquor store in a week constitutes alcoholism?
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
He looks like he was the one that always had koolaid stains around his mouth as a kid, he can fuck off.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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