dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
..and it was like all of a sudden I could hear the sounds my brain was making
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
we were making out in my truck and while she was straddling me she informs me that she jerks off horses for a living. Should I be concerned or flattered?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
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