brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Randomize
