If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
someone was throwing condoms at us.
no, they just magically show up around you.
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
Woke up with my foot jammed into a VCR
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
