chicago's viagra triangle is not unlike the bermuda triangle in thatt things just get lost...... planes, ships, dignity, virginity, etc.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
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