My nipple is on Facebook.
when i told him i was pregnant with his baby he texted me 'congradulations'
i pity the fetus.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
ttyl tear gas
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Randomize
