I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Just got walked in on while fucking in the lounge in the performing arts building. The janitors gave us five minutes to leave and applauded our exit
She kept grabbing my head and told my faces to stop shaking.. Also, she kept whispering something about seeing flowers in my eyes.
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
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