I just realized I had sex more when i looked like a fat elton john. Fuck my life.
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Drinking a grey goose and water in a random chair that I found by the road by myself
So there's that.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Only you would get a side of potential vagina with your sandwich
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
Randomize
