bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Found the puke drawer
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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