I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Thong +tight pants =hungry butt. Not a good look on big women! Walmart sucks.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
The drugs are starting to wear off. Suddenly aware there's a girl with bald patches and 2 guys that don't have a full set of teeth between them.
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
Randomize
