Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
Why was I drunk tweeting incorrect Beyonce lyrics last night?
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
