LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
The strip club incident sums up our friendship pretty well
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
I might go bald with this hair pulling thing every night.
I couldnt face her after that wonderful, terrible blowjob. Made a rope out of towels and climbed out her bathroom window.
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