i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
I Apparently saved a picture of the Eiffel tower in between 2 pics of his dick. It appears to be the same size. I fucking love Paris.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
alicia just called me and talked to me in "the eternal language of the dinosaurs" and then kind of roared and gurgled. what kind of 4th of july are you guys having?
the boozy kind. is there any other?
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
