If I were a hot girl. I'd whore around, I'd be awesome.
I just watched a girl at work pick her nose with 4 of her 5 fingers. So I now know what sausage biscuits taste like in vomit form.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
