He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Babe, the 4 years we've been together have been amazing. Will you marry me?
are you seriously doing this over text message
hahaha no, but i am dumping you.
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
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