dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
it's just like freshman year of high school, with more drugs
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
he didn't stitch me up last time. in fact, he yelled at me for bleeding.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize
