I just found a frying pan...in my bed.
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
There is a clear recurring theme of me having sex in restrooms that really needs to stops
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
If I take a couple more shots I won't even know he's a Mormon that drives a motorcycle
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
