she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
Im at target. Idk why I'm buying condoms AND a tutu for my cat. No one who dresses their cat up has ever gotten laid.
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
I drink to make the karaoke go away.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
I took out the emergency phone in the elevator and replaced it with a bottle of vodka. The game is simple, do a shot for the number of the floor you're going to. Best suggestion box tip ever.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
