So I went into my gym pretty wasted and asked the trainer guy if i could order a cock meat sandwich. Needless to say, I'm canceling my membership tomorrow.
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
One sec I was having the time of my life, the next I was shitting water
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