And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
pop tarts are not kleenex
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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