she's leaving w me bro, I've been buying her mad shots. She's seen my apt. So locked down.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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