hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
im single, its not even nine am on Valentine's day and I've already gotten laid. suck it relationships
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
