If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Randomize
