Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Your sister walked upto me in the middle of the hallway and was like get us beer or shes never having sex with you ever again, wtf
Randomize
