Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize
