Just heard someone use the phrase "slut mustard" in a sentence. Win.
I'm glad you talked me out of that flying penis tattoo.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
I swear to god if he wasnt on the fourth floor balcony and I wasn't to drunk to climb I would kill him
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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