So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
I wish you would always start your sentences with "speaking of my clit..."
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
She fell asleep with me.... We found her pantsless in the dogbed in the morning... Russian foreign exchange students
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
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