It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
I don't know whether I should be pissed that there's glitter in my bed or proud that there's semen in there too.
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
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