We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
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