90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
Update- I sold my hat to some drunk kid for 50 bucks. I used my earnings to buy beer on the way home. I realize to everyone else seeing me drinking on my balcony at 6am, I look like an alcoholic, but I'm thinking of it as a night cap
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
So much Jack, so little girl.
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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