your thong is hanging out like whoa
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Is asking my 8-year-old brother if he will make us shot glasses in his ceramics class too far?
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Randomize
