smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
She has 2500 facebook friends. I probably should have used a condom.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
