I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
You told him you loved him!?
I mean if he translated "Zi luve ku" as that then yes.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
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