erin looks like she hung out with the sham wow guy last night. she's got the beat up hooker look goin' on
i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
Randomize
