i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
just got off the metro to throw up and got back on like it ain't no thang
really making moves this morning i see
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
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