At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
My mother walked into the bathroom at 345 am while I was splashing in the bathtub with the remnants of her birthday cake all over me... she looked at me and walked out...
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Please don't finger me like a jackhammer. I'm a woman not a construction site.
I had a dream that we had an entire sofa made out of cocaine.
Randomize
