Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
Last night we hooked up in nothing but out UK shirts during half time. Never say I'm not a dedicated fan again.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
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