Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
They asked me to help them shop for lingerie.
Tell them everything looks awful, makes their ass look fat, etc. You'll wreck their self esteem and likely both have sex with you to make themselves feel better.
You're the most understanding sister I could ever ask for.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
Randomize
