Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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