did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
im in DESPERATE NEED OF A COMPANION RIGHT NOW I’M MOTHER FUCKING TRIPPING SOLID GOLD BALLS
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