I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
After we had sex he began to tell me the craziest places he's had sex. He told me KFC bathroom so I rolled over and went to sleep.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
