Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
I just witnessed Grandma making her infamous daiquiris. Extraordinary.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
