Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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