Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Some man just said he would jack off to my hair color.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
I don't know, I don't really wanna ask the question, "Mom why am I not circumcised?"
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
