Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
This is a mass text: my birthday is tomorrow, and I want a full day of birthday sex. Send me your availabities. Time slots begin at noon
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
i did nothiing wrong other than not tell that kid his whole back was covered in puke
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
all i remember is walking home without my pants on... when i woke up i was sleeping in between my parents in their bed, no more whiskey wednesdays
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