Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
she's like a sexy human version of my cat. i can't catch her, and she keeps throwing up in the corners.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
