No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Don't forget ur talking to the master juggler. Remember that time I slept with 3 guys and made them all pay for plan b? Paid the rent didn't I?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
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