sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
HE TALKS ABOUT HIS DICK IN THIRD PERSON ABORT MISSION ABORT FUCKING MISSION
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
