This guy legit just tried to LSAT formal logic his way into my pants. Contrapositives and everything.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
If her puking on your pool table is her sign of a good night, it's time to intervene.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Randomize
