Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
The feeling are messing with the penis
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
Now that mom and dad sold the camper, do you think it's okay to talk about all the sex I had in it?
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
It's a shame I've been hooking up with him for 6 months and he still doesn't know my real name.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Can we throw a "death to my 20s" party when I turn 30?
Sure. Funeral attire and hard liquor
Randomize
