Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I looked at my own cervix.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
