clay aiken is like melissa ehteridge without the guitar.
He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
Randomize
