Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
I've just had two stress filled days in a row , I'm just going to shower and await your penis
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Randomize
