i turned job hunting into a drinking game..
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
Walked by a shop giving away free donuts this morning. Best walk of shame ever
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
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