so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I know, it's just the worst. Also, security almost took the burrito I brought for lunch. I thought I was going to have to pull a Liz Lemon and eat the whole thing before I could go through.
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
but if we have a President Trump come Tuesday, I might throw myself off the Walt Whitman Bridge so Thursday might not work for me after all.
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Randomize
