i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
When my kids ask how I lost my virginity Im going to have to tell them of a mythical thing called "Myspace" and how strangers could lure you into their "den of love" thanks to clever quotes and graphics
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Sorry I need more motivation then McDonalds and mojitos.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
I just got a girl to make out with me just by saying "get at me." Get at me
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
