I found your twin in sf. His name is ryan. And you are the evil one.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I'm gonna have sex with my clothes on and I'll know everyone there so I'll be in my comfort zone
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
All I've succeeded in doing since I saw you is drool on my shoulder
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
