two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
Randomize
