The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
I swear if he puts my hand anywhere near his dick tonight I'm "accidentally" leaving all my rings on
Knowing there are different types of spiders in different countries and regions makes me never want to travel.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Drunk me also decided it would be funny to change all the passwords on my computer last night. Now I can't log into anything.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
Panties = found
Randomize