I fucked a guy named chris tucker last night
I should be sponsored by Trojan
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
I JUST DEFLATED MY BOOB.
I DON'T KNOW WHETHER TO LAUGH OR CALL AN AMBULANCE.
I put my hydrocodone prescription in my cereal box its like real lucky charms
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
I want to be your penis for a week.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Sex in the backyard? Check.
Randomize
